A Community Carol

T'was the night before Sixmas, when all through the Net,
Not a download was stirring - it hadn't launched yet.
The browsers were pointed at Yahoo with care,
In hopes that Community soon would be there.

The Humans were nestled all snug by their screens,
Excited for trailers and opening scenes
(While those of not in the U.S. of A.,
Had readied our VPN proxies by day)

And I, like the rest, was sleepless that night
When my laptop portrayed an incredible sight:
His beard and his hair more dishevelled than most,
Dan Harmon, displayed on my screen like a ghost!

"Because", he began, "of the show's great success
On Reddit, and Tumblr, and all of the rest
Of the sites that you nerds use to browse and to read
I had a peculiar offer, you see."

"It seems that the Elders (of Internet fame)
Were fans of the show, though it lacked wide acclaim.
And as recompense for my lack of renown,
From tonight, the whole Internet's Harmontown"

"My mind was converted to Cyberspace states,
In the hopes that I'll write at phenomenonal rates
I know it's unlikely, but their plan's well refined;
It's because the Interne - 'eh, never mind"

"I'll keep writing Community, Harmontown too,
(Imagine, when Spencer finds out, what he'll do!?)
But I'll write from this side of a digital screen,
Delivering speedily each thrilling scene."

"But I'm taking a moment, before I can start,
To thank all the fans that have got us this far.
Thanks to you, the sixth season still has a shot;
We can't wait to show you the jokes that we've got."

"Now Abed! Now Annie! Dean Pelton and Hickie!
On Jeff, Britta, Chang! On Shir - oh, what a thickie!
I'd forgotten The Greendale Seven's now Four,
For Pierce, Troy, and Shirley are present no more"

"Though the group may be different, the heart is the same
(Did you hear? We're planning a FOURTH paintball game)
So just trust in the Harmon, I won't steer you wrong,
No puppets this time, but perhaps some more songs."

"More metatext commentaries, up their own asses,
More episodes named like collegiate classes.
More will-they and won't they, more blanket-built tents,
More weird British sci-fi, more Chang in the vents."

"More drunk Ian Duncan's Italian fanny,
More desperate attempts not to sexualise Annie
More episodes in Colorado's best school,
No more streets ahead, but still more cool-cool-cool."

"But for now, just look forward to all of that fun,
(This timeline's undarkened, there's more still to come)
Enjoy this first story, and after it ends,
To Twitter, to Facebook, and go tell your friends!"

He waved me goodbye, and vanished from view.
All the lights dimmed at once like in 4x02.
But I heard him exclaim, echoed through my TV:
"Six Seasons to all, and to all a movie!"