Saturday, 13 August 2016

A Jackson always blogs his shows

Bit of a cheat one, this time - I finally caught up with Game of Thrones a couple of weekends ago (up from halfway through Season Three), and spent a large chunk of that time frantically live-texting my reactions to George. Unfortunately everything before Season Six was lost in a phone-swap, but see below for your edification my frenzied reactions to one of the best seasons of TV I've ever seen.

A quick note that might not obvious from the context here - I noticed around Season Four that Valyrian (or, sometimes, some other "Eastern" languages - it didn't seem to be super consistent) used "Daaria" as "Queen". Which I promptly nerded out at a) the fact that I could notice that at all, and b) the possible nod to Daario being linked with a Queen.

Episode 1

OK - after a needlessly faffy kerfuffle getting HBO Go set up, it's on to Season Six!

Wow...did HBO always have this ~5 minute "previously on Game Of Thrones" intro? Yawwwwwn...

GHOST IS SAD :'(

The ep's called The Red Woman but it feels like it would be too much for Jon to return in the first ep? I haven't seen promo pics of 6!Jon, so I don't know what colour his eyes are, so don't know if it's by Ice or by Fire, but I assume the latter.

Uhhh...that hand motion would not have closed his eyes, it just covered his eyes while he closed them himself.

That's interesting - "I saw him in the flames, fighting at Winterfell" - reasonably sure in the books her vision is on the wall, fighting White Walkers?

One reason this story is so great is that there are very few genuine straight-up bad guys. Even Alliser Thorne, someone you're set up to detest and root against, is pretty defensible if you haven't seen/don't believe in the Others.

Ghost's definitely smaller than I imagined. Aren't they meant to be like shoulder-high (though I think Ghost was smaller than Grey Wind)? I know CGI's an issue, but that didn't hold them back with the dragons - just keep them out-of-shot as much as needed.

Heh, and as soon as I write that thing about "no truly bad people", we're back to Ramsay. Still back-and-forth on to what degree he's truly fucksy-psycho-mentalpants irredeemable monster, and how much he's fucked-in-the-head-but-struggling-to-be-not-awful. Maybe I'm just looking for subtlety where there is none, but I definitely read some signs of desire-to-change in his interactions with Sansa last season. We'll see.

"Thanks to you, the false king Stannis Baratheon is dead. Do you know who struck the killing blow?"
"No"
"A shame, I'd reward the man" LOL IT FUNNY 'COS SHE NOT A MAN.
(Also, foreshadowing that she was interrupted (Lady Stoneheart?) and he's not really dead? Or am I just over-Game-of-Thrones-ing Game-of-Thrones?)

OK, so, just to recap - book!Jeyne Pool spends a much longer time in Winterfell, is engaged to Ramsay, and is rescued by Abel/Mance (with the assistance of Spearwives, and Reek). Looks like Sansa is likewise fleeing Winterfell and an engagement to Ramsay in the company of Reek. We saw "Mance Rayder" burned alive and shot to death at the wall, but Rattleshirt himself was killed previously to that. Different glamour, or just diverging entirely?

Welp, nice try Reek...

"I can't wait to see what parts Ramsay cuts off you this time" - was that Matt Berry's voice!?

Ah yeah, of course, Brienne rescuing Sansa makes perfect sense (also, Pod's gettin' some skillz!)

Jesus Christ, Brienne's selfless dedication and humble service is gonna make it really gut-wrenching when she inevitably gets GRRM'd...

(Why would Pod know the Northern reciprocal vow of acceptance of fealty better than Sansa? He was a squire of the Westerlands and then of King's Landing, but she lived for stories of princes and kinghts)

"Sympathy for Cersei doesn't last very long" - well, watching her daughter's corpse be rowed ashore is sure doin' it for me...I guess it'll be "here I go schemin' again" soon enough, though...

"From her first breath, she was so sweet. She was nothing like me - no meanness, no jealousy. I thought if I could make something so good, so pure, maybe I'm not such a monster after all" JESUS

"Everything they've taken from us, we're going to take back and more" - uhhh...that could go, badly...

Awnhhhh shiiiiiiit, Areo and Doran down just like that!? Feels like Doran really didn't have much of a role in the show at all...

Yeah, totally saw that spear-in-the-back-of-the-head coming...Bronn could have taught him a thing or two

"Kill the masters // Mhysa is a master" FFS, be consistent with your linguistics. (still, the priest said "Daaria Daenerys", so I'm happy) - post-hoc edit - I AM VINDICATED 

"We won't be sailing to Westeros any time soon" May as well have looked straight at the camera and winked.

Pretty sure the sting that played when J-Bear picked up Daenerys' ring was the same one that was played in the fighting pits when they joined hands (remember, I asked you if you recognised it?)

"It is forbidden to lie with a Khal's widow" thaaaaaaaat does not seem super in-keeping with the Dothraki way-of-life...oh wait, shit, yeah, I forgot. Vaes Dothrak. a.k.a. the epitome of "when women aren't wives any longer, they immediately become wise old crones"

It did not feel necessary for Melisandre to be naked for that scene.

Episode 2

Baby Ned! Dw'ahhh

I'm like 99% sure that "Keep your shield up, or I'll ring your head like a bell" is a callback to Jon saying the same thing to a Night's Watch brother he was training last season...

Hodor talks :)

Heh, they got in the bit about Wun-Wun smashing a Night's Watchman against a wall - still no smoking wounds or salt yet, though...
sidenote - did you know that Wun-Wun killing Patrek of King's Mountain is a coded dig by GRMM (a fan of the New York Giants, whose quarter back wears #11) at his friend Patrick Denis of Montreal, who favours the Dallas Cowboys (whose emblem is a blue star, just like Ser Patrek's)?

OMG TYRION SAID THAT THING ABOUT DRINKING AND KNOWING THINGS OMG OMG I SHOULD PUT THAT ON A MUG/T-SHIRT/CUSHION/DECORATIVE-TOILET-SEAT

Ohhhhhhkay considerably less inclined to treat Ramsay with sympathy now.

Hah that Karstark just instantly backing Ramsay. He knows which way the wind's blowing.

And now it's hinted that Ramsay's gonna kill the baby too. Duuuude.

OK this is gonna sound weird but...it must have taken a considerable amount of time for people to figure out that sex caused pregnancy. Think about it, there's not exactly an instant feedback loop to tell you that action A caused outcome B, and you're unlikely to be able to arrange much of a reliable control group. Presumably among super-early "civilizations" (like, troglodytic gatherings) most people over a certain age would be having sex reasonably regularly, pregnancy could easily be written off as just something that simply happened past a certain point of maturity, like body hair. When society developed to the point where "higher classes" weren't rutting on the regular, it could just as easily be short-sightedly be thought that pregnancy was prevented by cleanliness, or wealth, or privilege, or all sorts of things.

Awnhhhhh shit son, Ramsay's fucked up.

Interesting that Balon's survived this long after Joffrey and Renly (though, it is a dark and stormy night...and it was hinted that he was killed by a Faceless Man, who we've been seeing more of recently...)

Welp, there we go

Jon looks a lot like Robb with that haircut...

Episode 3

Goddamn, Jon has, like, ZERO body fat. Those shoulder muscles.

"Stannis was not the Prince who was Promised, but someone has to be" oh hey, show watchers, there's that prophecy thing again for you

"You were dead, and now you're not" I love Davos forever

"Good, now go fail again" perhaps you should...FAIL BETTER? (It would be super anti climactic if he just got shanked as soon as he walked out) - notes for people who aren't Olivia or George - Olivia works at a company named Failbetter Games

AWWWWHN SHIT IS THIS THE TOWER OF JOY!?
SHIT YEAH MOTHERFUCKER
I love that I could recognise Arthur Dayne IMMEDIATELY. Perfect casting
Yeah I don't see a similarity between Howland and the High Sparrow. Shame. - note - there is a popular fan-theory from the books that the High Sparrow is Howland Reed, Jojen and Meera's father, who is wreaking havoc in the capital as revenge on the Lannisters and is going to be the source of Jon's revelation that R+L=J
Some guy wearing a Dornish-looking turban with the Stark&Reed posse? Interesting. I want to check the book!canon group but I don't want to risk spoilers.
Wait, no, no, fuckin' no - Arthur Dayne is the other dude, the Loras-but-tougher-looking dirty blonde, surely? Not the grim-'n'-gritty dude who just so happens to have a sunburst on his pommel? Booooo.

OK, in fairness, Loras-alike got killed off pretty quickly and Dayne's kickin' all kinds of butt. Fair enough. The other guy visually fit my image of Dayne much better, though.

Good work attacking the V, there, Art. - this is a Jiu-Jitsu thing. Just move along.

Well, I guess it has been more than half an hour since we've had some nudity, I guess they need to fill their quota (and make some point about "Khaleesis being stripped of their grandeur" or something)

"Es" was Dothraki imperative "Go", sounds like "Why didn't you come to us after Khal Drogo died?" included a prominent "Eso". I feel like I need to give more props to the linguists for creating what appear to be consistent languages (though, if I recall, they actually made a big deal about hiring a linguist to construct Dothraki? Can't remember if they did so for the other languages) - retroactive note - there was a recent AMA with the language creator here.

Of COURSE Qyburn is stepping into the spymaster role...

"If we're to be just and good, then we must accept it, even kings. The wisest king avails himself of the wisest counsellors, and no-one is wiser than the gods" - reckon he was listening in the sept when Tywin said similar to Tommen (or someone told him)?

Awhnnn SHIIIIT Osha and Rickon! No way that Ramsay should let him leave that room alive...either that or Reekify him :(
SHAGGYDOG NOOOO!

Goddamn Thorne, you're a fucker but I respect the shit out of your conviction.

That's a...weird place to have a reprise of Rains of Castamere? Signifying a swift and bloody reprisal to beat down rebellion (in which case, it's inconsistent that Jon's not sticking around to continue to lead the Watch), or the rise of the Lannisters (hardly), or...? Or am I just reading too much into things, again? - this was at the point where Jon walked out of the watch after executing the traitors

OK, Sansa making it to Castle Black is a significant change from book story. Actually Sansa herself has been the chief source of divergence so far.

"If I don't look after you, Father's ghost will come back and haunt me" Kind of a weird thing for you to be joking about right now, Jon...

Robyn is nigh-on Joffrey levels of dangerous. Nowhere near so actively psychopathic, but far more easily manipulated and utterly without mercy or compassion.

Maybe I'm giving her too much credit here, but Cersei appears to have played this one astonishingly well - the Lannister forces have been expressly ordered to stand down, so even if the Faith Militant strike back, the Tyrell army will take the brunt of the blow.

I can't tell if Cersei's "you want your son back, so stand aside and let the people who took him from you be destroyed" has a parallel with Tywin and Jaime. Jaime was taken from him by the Kingsguard, but in the case of the sack of King's Landing it was Jaime who "stood aside" (opened the gates) to his father, and then killed Aerys who had taken him from his father. Eh, I don't think it fits, it's just a case of a small possibility space of the potential interactions between fathers-and-sons, opposing loyalties, etc.

Everyone is very adamant that Margary's walk of atonement cannot happen. Hinting at the implied pregnancy from the books? They haven't dropped any hints yet that I've noticed (I don't recall any reference to Moon Tea)...

Dat pink letter d'oh

Uhhh, so Daenerys' plan seems...not strong. Unless she's ever tested her asbestos skin (which, we've never seen?), seems like a hell of a gamble to think that she would be able to walk unburned again. Plus smoke inhalation is a thing. Plus that dirt/stone floor went up very fast (implication of spilled/planted oil?). That said, as a symbolic callback to the end of Season One, it's superb. And oh hey, look, Daenerys miraculously acquires another army! Rand Al'Thor levels of power-acquisition going on here...

Overall, that was a very nothing-y episode. Barring Dany's coup, what actually happened? Cersei came up with a scheme to engage the FM with the Tyrell army, Jon was taunted by Ramsay, Osha was killed (no biggie, overarching-plot-wise). No Sam, no Arya, no Bran. Very setup-y. Actually, considering that the only action in the Vale was "the time has come to enter the fray", maybe they were explicitly trying to lump the build-up into one episode.

Episode 5

And on to episode 5!

(Only noticed this on the recap, but - "it's time to join the fray". Unusual choice of words. Mayhaps it has some significance? Heh.)

Fucking hell, does Baelish have a teleporter?

Goddamn Petyr you done fucked upppppppp.

Arya doing a kip-up - isn't that like Seb's wet dream or something? (Oh wait, no, she's not a red-headed lesbian. Close, though). The waif's got some skillzzz.

"Winds of Winter", you say, oh actress?

That play is actually really interesting in how the events were twisted with time. Ned claiming the throne? Tyrion bribing the headsman? Completely false, but with time and distance you can see how that idea would have spread.

Aaaaaah the old "walkers as ecological warfare/defence from the CotF" theory. Makes sense.

Euron does not look like I imagined him. Thought he was going to be dark, gaunt, long-haired - kinda middle-eastern looking, actually. Though character-wise, he's spot-on in the brash, laddish, self-assured swagger.

Kind of gotta respect Euron's balls in just straight-up admitting to regicide (though, if it's going to be accepted anywhere, the Iron Islands would be the ones to go)

J-BEAR :'(

In the continuing adventures of etymology, there was an "Ezio" somewhere in the introduction of the First Servant of Light - goddamn I'm such a nerd

So Varys has got some SERIOUS beef with the Lord of Light. Were they the ones who castrated him? OMG because of Blackfyre ancestry? Though we've only seen King's blood or the body as a whole used, but still...
Yesssssss almost-almost-confirmed (she referred to a "second-rate sorceror", but didn't state that he wasn't a (second-rate) follower of the LoL)

It slightly bothers me that Bran's able to "see" places that aren't adjacent to Heart Trees (not in this ep, but previous ones, e.g. the Tower of Joy) - but it's an understandable necessity.

Yesssssss Manderleys goan kick some fuckin' tail

"A bit brooding, perhaps - I suppose it's understandable, considering" they're just playing that for understated laughs all the time, aren't they? :)

Dw'awwww Jon and Sansa sibling-times :)

LORD COMMANDER DOLOROUS EDD. 10/10 excellent.

Meera Reed is talking about happy things that she's looking forward to which means that she's going to die :(

OK shit is going DOWN. What do we think, Bloodraven can cast magic through Bran ("time for you to become me")? That still seems nowhere near enough to take on that horde...

Soooooo....we're going to need an explanation of why the White Walkers turned on their creators. Just the standard "unleashed powers beyond their control" story?
Oh kaaaay, so CotF speears are tipped with dragonglass (or otherwise have those properties)? That would have been useful to know...

SUMMER!!!! :'(

Fuuuuuuuuuck. I had been spoiled on the general shape of that ending but fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. - yeah, this was "Hold the door". Fucking hell.

Episode 6

COLDHANDS, BIZNATCH, although, not Stag. So...just straight-up Benjen?

Yeah that's a Northern voice. And it would make more thematic sense to "meet' Benjen immediately after Bran's been reminded of him.

Awwww the female Tarlys are so lovely. Shame Randall's likely going to be a shitstack.

Uhhh assuming Margary's putting this on. She's got a spine of steel, no way they broke her (and also if they had broken her she would be a fucking mess, nowhere near as composed as she is now).
I mean fair enough, everything she's saying about "being good at being seen to be good" is 100% true, but still.

Haha Sam the Slayer got himself a Valyrian Steel blade :)

Pretty sure the dwarf in that play was named as Oppo (as in, Penny and Groat) - from the books. They're pretty niche, you probably haven't heard of them

OK events at the Sept of Baelor are....an interesting development. My first reaction was the same as Olenna's, that the High Sparrow had outmanoeuvred them, but there's no reason why an alliance between the Crown and the Faith can't be spun beneficially - it could well be a feint by the Lanni-rells.
...Oh, ok, nope, Tommen's full-on brainwashed. Nevermind. They fucked.

Oooh, Jaime's going to the Riverlands? You know who he meeeeeets in the Riiiiiverlands... - I think I was talking about Lady Stoneheart here

Cersei's actually speaking sense. Or, I guess, speaking Nutso McCrazy-pants but still making good tactical decisions.

"I will not choose three blood riders" subtle nod that they're abandoning the Three Heads of the Dragon?

Episode 7

What the whaaaaat this episode started with a cold intro? That's never happened before, so far as I remember!

They're...building a church? Braflashback (Branflback? Flashbran?), is this Bran the Builder?
Aaaaahhhh ok. So they're just being straight up with the Gravedigger's identity. GET HYPE. - CLEGANEBOWL GET HYPE

"In all my days I've never seen a man swing an axe like that" I'm no expert, but I'm like 99% sure that he's got pretty bad technique (at least for wood-chopping), you're meant to let the weight of the axe-head do most of the work to avoid tiring yourself out.

Ah man I'm really missing the X-ray trivia points. "Gods aren't done with you yet // I've heard that before - man was talking about a different God though" I assume he's talking about Beric?

"Maybe it is the Seven, or maybe it is the old gods, or maybe it's the Lord of Light" - is that the first time we've heard that suggested outside the House of Black and White?

"You didn't know me back in my time" - easy to forget that there are often long stretches between episodes, and especially between seasons.

Olenna's fuckin' awesome. As always.

That was totally a passed message... - (what Margary sent to Olenna)
Yesssss I fuckin' KNEW it. No way they broke Margary.

"I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age, it's hard to recall." - never has a fire emoji been more fitting.

Oh, Bronn's in this? (I joke - he's great, and having him hanging around whatever Lannister is around certainly adds to the snark quota)

Serious question - what's the range on a crossbow? Could anyone ever stand close enough to a castle wall to be heard without risking a bolt in the face?

Goddamn, Jaime's been rocking some fine-ass armour in the last couple of episodes.

Blackfish absolutely living up to his reputation of cast-iron bollocks.

Oh come onnnnnn there's no way Arya could survive that stabbing. Especially after then dousing herself in probably disease-ridden water.

Oh hey it's the Hound's girlfriend-in-a-refrigerator moment.

Episode 8

Varys is going on an expedition, and Kevan's still alive. That latter's not going to remain true for long...

Lol I love how The Mountain is like the most tangible projection of physical intimidation.

Brienne should really get some sort of frequent flyer miles.

"Now listen to me Pod, see how your feet are about a yard apart" saw that one coming :)

"In my experience, girls like [Sansa] don't live very long" harsh but fair (given that last time he knew her)

Especially in light of Bronn's comments ("do you think they're fucking?"), and the Blackfish's questions ("who gave you that sword with a golden lion on the pommel?"), I keep going back and forth on whether we're meant to think Jaime actually is attracted to Brienne or just respects the hell out of her.
Oh maaaaaan, Brienne's going to die in the defence of Riverrun, isn't she? :( killed in front of Jaime in a Ygritte/Jon fashion.

I mean, I'm surprised trial by combat persisted this long, but yeah, forbidding it when your accused just developed a human nuke seems reasonable...
"More. Much more." Why is it always much more?

Tyrion's irrepressible attempts to develop bonhomie with Missandei and Grey Worm is adorable.

"Kept me in a cell for years" again, that reminder that episodes are not just a week apart.

"The things we do for love" hey, that's the name of that episode!

OK, the Blackfish isn't wrong to be suspicious, but...how could letting Edmure in be a trap? AFAIK, they don't have any such thing as explosives. So long as Ed's kept under watch so he doesn't commit treachery from the inside (on the assumption that he may have been brainwashed), what could he actually do?
...well, yeah, ok, he can do that. But that's not a "trap", that's "obeying your Lord's commands". Depending on your definition of loyalty, that's precisely what you are meant to do. You can either mutiny and decide that his commands aren't worth obeying (in which case, you gained nothing by letting him in, and in fact at least saved your figurehead and can help bring him back to your side), or just accept that loyalty sometimes means doing things you don't personally agree with.
"You'll serve Sansa far better than I ever could" the two aren't mutually exclusive you old fuck! - yeah, this really annoyed me. Absolutely no need for a dramatic death, there

Burning catapults on a ship seem like a REALLY bad idea...(also, launching burning loads at a stone pyramid, seems like a waste)

The Hound is now the very definition of a murder-hobo. (It does bother me that Lem Yellowcloak went bad, though; he's meant to be a reasonably decent guy in the books, no?)
Thoros really rocking that topknot.
He's taking their boots he's taking their boots he really is a murder-hobo.

So I'm sure you're aware, because this is the sort of thing you would know, but a properly executed hanging is over instantly - the knot should press forward and break the neck. Hence the crack you often hear in televised versions of it. And Lem's hanging didn't have that crack, and he made more choking sounds and kicked and struggled for longer than usual on this show. Impressive if intentional.

The Waif model T-800
Oranges splattered with blood. I choose to believe that's a subtle Tarantino reference.
Not to be "that guy", but Needle looks like a stabbing sword. Would it really be able to slice a candle like that?
"Finally a girl is no-one" don't try to fucking pull that mysterious quasi-religious bullshit, Jaqen. Your assassination attempt failed, don't play it like it was all just a training exercise.
OK, now that's all over - trying to decide whether there's some deeper storyline significance to the anonymizing doctrine of the Faceless Men, or if it's just a neat gimmick to distinguish them. It makes sense in-universe given their story and beliefs, but in the story it only seemed to serve to create tension between Arya's desire for vengeance and their insistence that she leave it all behind. Which was never really played up in the show (or maybe my binging just downplayed that?), so...did it achieve anything? (it doesn't have to - it can just be flavour without significance - but just wondering if you saw something in it that I missed)

Episode 9 

Tyrion reminding Dany of the Mad King's plans (which is not, technically, relevant at this point, since the Mad King was planning to destroy his own city), the episode after Cersei's spymaster was investigating some "rumours". This does not bode well...
(Man, I hate how the presumed idiocy/short-memory of TV watchers (in general, not just in this show) means that things can't be true surprises, because they need to be reminded of relevant foreshadowing just before the twist happens. It's just like the fucking "Previously on..." segments that let you know exactly what you should be remembering. I mean, given the history of the format, they're probably not wrong to do so, but still...)
"We're here to discuss your surrender, not mine" lolololol so snarky Daenerys. Never heard that one before.
Yeah, you very much do not want to just pour fire onto one ship and ignore the others. Set multiple small fires and circulate reinforcing them.
"Thank you for the armada" oh, ok, fair enough. No need to destroy the materiel.

Restating once again my complete wrongness in previously seeing any form of redemption in Ramsay.

Interesting that the Wildlings were defeated by a "double envelopment" and so (as I recall) was Stannis at the end of last season.
"Think and walk until I'm far enough away from camp that no-one can hear me shitting my guts out" - oh man oh man don't let him get killed in the dark by Bolton saboteurs :(
Oof, Davos finding the burned carved stag. That's gotta hurt (although, they're just using the Rains of Castamere refrain everywhere, now, apparently?)

"Have the Iron Islands ever had a Queen?" "No more than Westeros" - Uhhh...my history's rusty, but I'm pretty sure there was a Westerosi (Targaryan) Queen?
"I imagine your offer is free of any marriage demands?" "I never demand, but I'm up for anything, really" the line that launched a thousand ships.
Ships.
Ships, you see, like the things that sail and the thing that Internet people do... - do you get it? do you get it? Aaah, you don't get it

Oh Jon...you're pretty, but you're not that bright...(I mean, yes, ok, probably no-one apart from the Mantis would be able to remain dispassionate in that situation. But still.)
Oh, so that's what that gif of "a guy waiting out a cavalry charge holding a long sword" that was going round the Intenet is from"
That was a spectacularly choreographed slice of chaos.
Barring outside help or supernatural aid, there's no way in hell the Stark forces are escaping that kettling.
Wun-wun is the Prince that was Promised. #AzorAhai2017
That was possibly the most satisfying beating I've ever seen doled out, and I have no idea why seeing Sansa watching him would have made him stop for one instant. If Ramsay's head's isn't soup then you haven't finished (We'll ignore the fact that Bolton archers should definitely have killed Jon in a second). This isn't an "if you kill me, I win" Joker-type situation.
Oh man that is some sick fucking irony. - Ramsay becoming dog-food

Episode 10

Does the High Septon actually have anything to gain by condemning Loras at this point? (Assuming, as I think is fair, that he can essentially dictate the outcome). He's not going to win over House Tyrell, but is there anything to be gained by antagonising them further, or by removing their heir? Obviously, Cersei's "guilty" no matter what...
Ah, ok. Having him confess in front of everybody is an even more powerful outcome. This guy can play the game.

There's...no reason for the Faith Militant to chase that little boy?

Huh, ok. So Qyburn's little birds killing Pycelle is the equivalent of Varys' killing Kevan. But...that doesn't have anywhere near the same significance. Varys was unsettling a recovering King's Landing in order to open the way for the Blackfyres/Targaryans. Qyburn was...killing someone who would have died shortly in the wildfire explosion soon anyway, and who would have been unable to prevent it. Seems unnecessary? Except maybe to reinforce Qyburn's control over the little birds? But that itself isn't necessary to the story?

Well damn.

Hah, that shot of Wildfire going up the tunnel was in Bran's visions. Neat.

Cersei's a psychopath, no doubt, but can't help but feel weirdly satisfied that she can get revenge on that Septa.
"You're not going to die today" ok, maybe not.
"This is Ser Gregor Clegane" and just like that, any sympathy for Cersei's gone again. Funny how that happens.

Counter-factual - could Cersei have saved Margary if she wanted to? (Probably not - would have been too suspicious for her to be absent from her brother's trial) Would she have done so if she could? (probably not)

Oh man. I feel so sorry for Tommen, he got used and manipulated his entire life.

"Can't go killing my son-by-law, wouldn't be right. Give the family a bad name" Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

"Burn him, and bury his ashes where the sept once stood" ok, tinfoil alert, but...Targ blood in Cersei? It would certainly explain the Crazytown Bananapants.

Ah, finally the last remaining storyline catches up with the books (Sam's). Have we had show-confirmation that White Ravens (as seen when he arrives) signify the changing of the seasons?
"This is irregular" "Yes, well, I suppose that life is irregular" Sam, you are so great.
So, things we could be expecting to see in Oldtown - the Alchemist (probably not, since he's meant to be Jaqen), the glass-candles...anything else?
Probably reading too much into this, but the decoration on the chandeliers in the Oldtown library look very similar to the surround on the "sun" in the intro sequence. So the atlas-type-thing is presumably in Oldtown? (no significance that I can tell, but a neat nod to the fact that they, allegedly, know everything that's going on, and are responsible for magic leaving the world, and the burning-down of the candles is why the dragons are returning)

"Ride South today. If you return to the North, I'll have you hanged as a murderer" WHyyyyyyyyyyyyy!? The only reason to keep her alive is to use her skills. You either kill her or employ her. What the helllll Jon!? Yeah, ok, you owe her a solid because of the whole resurrection thing, but...come on. Make better choices.

I really, really hope they're not teasing a relationship between Jon and Sansa (then again I said that about April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer and look how I ended up feeling about that, soooo...)

"I should have told you about him, about the Knights of the Vale" yeah, you fuckin' should. Either you knew about it and were hinting that there were allies coming (in which case, you nearly got everyone killed in order to prove that you knew best, in which case fuck you), or you didn't know about it, in which case don't fuckin' act like you knew all along. Sansa, honey, I love you more than most seem to, but step up your game.

OLENNA AND THE SAND SNAKES OLENNA AND SAND SNAKES OLENNA AND THE SAND SNAKES FUCKIN' YES. Olenna is always the best but this shit's goan get REAL.
(Olenna and the Sand Snakes is the name of my something cover band)
"Survival is not what I'm after now" OLENNA IS METAL AS FUCK
Varys also has a teleporter, apparently.
Disappointed that they've abandoned the Varys Blackfyre theory, but this is very satisfying nonetheless.

I still find it vaguely hilarious that Daenerys and Tyrion are working together. It keeps feeling like weird (not necessarily bad) fan-fiction or a parody "what-if" segment for like Comic Relief or something.
Awww, Tyrion as Hand of the Queen. Bless.

"Black Walder and Lothar Frey promised to be here by midday" come on, come on, please, please...
FUCKIN' YES, FINALLY!
OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!? - a little context here - the Frey Pies is one of my favourite fan-theories, and I was getting increasingly frustrated that Wyman Manderley didn't seem to even be in the show. And then they not only delivered, but went and made it BETTER

(I should do an analysis on the proportion of capital letters in these recaps as time goes on)

"And I only act if the answer is yes" yeah, I see where this is going
"A picture of me on the Iron Throne" oh, ok
"And you by my side" theerrrrre we go.

Wow, we're into the Tower of Joy scene and there are still 22 minutes to go. Call it 5 minutes of credits, that's 17 minutes of drawing it out?
Uhhhh......not to be a buzzkill, but she said "his name is ", but definitely began with an "a/ae/ah" sound. It was not Jon. I mean, the implication is clear, but...what?

Lyanna fuckin' Mormont kickin' ass and takin' names. Honestly got shivers a "whose name is Stark"
"I didn't commit my men to your cause because I didn't want more Manderleys dying for nothing" Damn, D&D, why you gotta make Manderley a weak-ass.
Dat half-time overblown theme tune backing

Uhhh...there were Martell sails in Danys invasion fleet? I know Varys is probably negotiating a Tyrell/Martell/Targaryan alliance, but would they have been able to get supplies to them that quickly? Or was it a Second Suns sail that I just misread?

That final scene: http://i.imgur.com/7drHiqr.gif

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